RightSolicitor Legal Discussion & Legal Advice

[smithandjones]

I was pointed to this website by an online friend and was looking for advice a brief breakdown is as follows:-

Divorced 4.5 yrs, shared access to children with ex husband, they have during the past years stayed with me Mon, Thur, Fri, Sun night one week and Mon Thurs Frid Sat Sun the next, staying with him every Tues and Wed and alternate saturday nights. Recently he has made an application for a larger council house, and also gone from being self employed to working shift work, claiming he has them 7 nights a fortnight, and at the same time he has started to threaten to take me to court over having the two children one friday night a month.

Now the child care arrangements never went to court just agreed through both parties solicitors, something that I now think I was very badly advised over, Ex claims he has proof of being entitled to this extra night, but all he has been able to show if a court letter stating that the court was not dealing with the child care, and a private letter from his solicitor to the housing association stating he sometimes has the kids on a friday evening.

The solicitor I used has traced my paper work which states that he is responsible for their care 2 mornings a week 2 evenings up till 9pm a week and alternate sat and sun.

My question is where do I stand as nothing was ever formally drawn up, the above statement from my solicitor was when he was living in my house (the then marital home), the only other information the solicitor has found was when he refused to have the children past 6pm on a sunday, stating it was due to living at his mums house, this was counteredby my solicitor informing him that i would collect them at 6pm short term till he got a property of his own, however he now has the house and I am still having to collect them on the sunday.


Would the fact that the amount of times he has asked for the boys to go to his on a friday night has been minimal over the past 4 yrs be able to set a president? Would the fact that both myself and my new husband have arranged family friendly hours with our employers so that we can have family time, especially on the fridays before the boys go to their dads be taken into account.

Also if this went to court would the boys be asked for their views, the eldest is already undertaking his 4th session of counselling since the divorce, he is 9, and is documented as not being able to understand his emotions, therefore I would hate to see the boys have to give an oppinion on where they want to be, there has been a settled rountine for the past 4 ish years only changing for family holidays, this is benefical to the eldest one in particular. If they did have to give an oppinion would the fact that their father is known to have used emotional and psychological abuse on myself, and still does to an extent, or tries to anyway, be taken into account (the boys tell me that things happen or their dad won't let them do things that they want to do, grow their hair is one example, but when asked by anyone else they will not say that). Also will the fact that social services have investigated their father and warned him due to a minor non accidential injury be taken into account, in fact would I be able to argue that the first psychologist that the eldest son saw stated that the route of the emotional problems was the father but although she would like to stop contact that the eldest boywould not cope emotionally with this, and so just needed to be supported through the problems until he realised that contact with his father was not a good thing, at the time he was being very violent towards others at any change to his life.

Sorry its long, thanks in advance for any help that you might be able to give.